Waste Land

School has been in session for almost a month now, and I feel like we are swimming in a waste land. I am waiting for my son to be challenged in class, for them to touch on topics or principles that he has mastered already.

I've had a meeting with my son's teacher and his school guidance consular. As it turns out my son has been down playing his abilities and trying to find new and creative ways to trick his teacher. He even forgot his own name last week. *gasp* His teacher seems to be a bit cool and distant, but that might just be me. His guidance consular seems to be willing to help and offer accommodations, once we have "proof", as to just how gifted he is.

In a little less than 2 weeks we'll begin the process of testing for giftedness. But that's only the beginning, I have no idea how long it will take. In the meantime, what are we suppose to do... just keep going at the status quo? I feel often as is my son is missing out on valuable chances to learn things and expand his mind and surrounding.

I am also afraid that this experience is giving him an ill perception of school and what is required of him.

It's all such a waste.

Santa - Are you real?

When my son was two and a half years old we we had gone out to dinner at a buffet chain restaurant. That particular night was packed with kids around his age. Little did we know Dora the Explorer was scheduled to make a guest appearance. As we were finishing up with our desert, Dora arrived. In all of her costume glory with a larger than life foam head. The other children in the restaurant went wild as Dora walked around giving hi-fives and hugs. My son wasn't buying it. He stood up on his seat and announced to the entire restaurant - "That's not Dora, it's a lady in a costume." Silence fell among the children. We needed a quick escape, before he was lynched. Thankfully this was the type of establishment you pay at before you eat.

Fast forward a year and a half, it's Christmas time. I have taken my son and my niece, who is a three, to go get Christmas photos done. They are sitting in a "replica" of Santa's sled. My son looks around and looks at the storage hold in the sled. "How is this possible? There is no way Santa can fit toys in a sled like this for all the children in the world. How could Santa have gifts for every child? And how can he possibly get to all of there houses?". He asked. I had no answer, and thankfully he dropped the subject. We must have been to close to the magic hour to question Santa any further.

Now, this past summer; my son is five and a half, we are sitting outside eating dinner and he's asks with all seriousness "Mom, is Santa real?". I had been waiting for this one and answered "Santa lives in your heart and if you believe then he must be real." That was good enough for him. Let's just hope he's OK with that answer and doesn't turn into the kid that tells everyone "the truth" about Santa.

Level 3, 4 and 5 gifted children (IQs above 130) often question the existence of Santa, the Tooth Fairy and other childhood characters between the ages of 3 and 5. The higher the level of gifted-ness the more likely they are to earlier question the existence of these characters.

Is it discrimination?

There are laws in place about discrimination in schools. We have federal laws in regards to race, sex, creed and disability. We have the "No Child Left Behind", which most Americans are familiar with; regardless to weather or not they agree with it. There are special laws for children with disabilities.

Yet, there is no national law in regards to the educational rights of gifted children. How is this even possible?

Individual states are left to determine how to serve this population. Albeit a small population, but no less important, in my opinion, than any other "special group".

Individual states are left to determine whether or not they are going to even provide services or testing.

And further more, individual states and sometimes towns and counties get to define what gifted means.

How is this fair and non-discriminatory?

Currently 28 states are seen as "gifted child friendly" and provide state funding and testing and have laws mandating such. So what about the other 32 states?

The National Association of Gifted Children (NAGC) has a map on their web-site that gives a break down state by state of the services available and highlights "good" states versus "bad" states. http://www.nagc.org/index.aspx?id=37

So what is one to do if you don't live in a "gifted friendly state" and you are raising a gifted child? Pick up and move to another state? Hope to find another job in another state? Leave your family behind when you move to another state? But wouldn't this be an unfair burden, not only to the family, but also to the state all of these children migrate to?

I can't help but ponder these things and wonder about my son's future. Am I doing him justice by sending him to our public school; in a state with no gifted education mandates, and hoping for the best? Is this really what we want for our children with high IQs? We cannot assume that just because they have a high IQ that everything will work out for them, that they will excel no matter what happens. Time and time again, this has been proved to be a mistake.

Perhaps I should quit my job and home school him. But then that wouldn't work, we need my paycheck right now... what is a mom to do?

That Kid

I think it's the desire of most parents to have a kid that "fits in". We all want a "normal child"; not the child that stands out in a crowd (in a bad way).

Yesterday we went to a firetruck parade and carnival with some friends of ours. Small town America at it's best. The firetrucks were all decked out for the occasion, all of the tires and paint jobs shined. Many had new decals and flowers adorning them. And to top it all off they sounded their flashed their lights and sounded their alarms. Oh, and did they sound their alarms. Sirens blared, horns honked.

Children sat on curbs waiting for candy to be thrown at them from trucks... sitting and watching and listening in ecstasy. Unless you have a child with a sensory sensitivity. Albeit he was an eager participant, but without his ear plugs in he would have remained at a standstill covering his ears and screaming it was too loud.

So, yes, my son whom I love and adore is "that kid". The one that wears the earplugs to the movies and parades. The one that runs away with his ear covered when a motorcycle approaches. The one that yells over and over "it's too loud".

Supersensitivies are fairly common in gifted children (and can be found in all people to some degree), and they can range from things such as the tag on the inside of pants, to smells, to sounds.

This is just one of the many quirks that parents of gifted children need to adapt to.

Recognizing the the supersensitivity is first and dealing with it is the next step. We've accomplished both of those.

But dealing with the outside world in regards to these, which is the next step for us; is often the most difficult. How do we tell the well meaning friend that our child cannot help it? that no matter what they say he's just not going to knock it off? that he isn't trying to be rude, but he can't deal with all the noise? We shouldn't have to explain ourselves or our child, but at times you wish everyone knew and understood.

Math Can Wait

When my son was 2 he had a (board line) obsession with puzzles. He would do them as fast as possible and do them over and over again. Ever eager for ones with more pieces.

When he was 3, everything was about letters and spelling. I felt like I was living in a spelling bee. Wherever we went it was "How do you spell this? How do you spell that?". Around the age of 4 he informed me that "We need to talk about numbers sometimes". We had been sitting in a Taco Bell when that statement was made.

So his 4s were spent with looking at numbers. The spelling bee car rides turned into car rides filled with math problems, him asking me and me asking him. Some days he would just be happy to ride and count; to see how high he could go before we got there. 334, 335, 336, 337; the numbers would drone on and on.

When he started his 5s he was still "obsessing" over math. Working in math workbooks like some children use coloring books. Car rides where filled with even more math quizzes. Then we bought him a watch. And the counting was replaced by "It's 4:32. 4:33. 4:34. 4:40. 20 minutes till 5pm. Oh, oh wait for it 4:42". Humorous at first, but it got old quickly.

Then the math obsessions started dying off, about a week later my son realized he could read. It sort of came out of the blue. He's been sort of reading for years now. Knowing tons of sight words, and puncuation; but this was really the first time he put all his practice to use. He picked up a copy of Read with Dick & Jane: Something Funny, and away he went. Reading all 40 something pages on his own. The math workbook was left to collect dust, and a new world was opened to him.

I asked him last night, since it was late, if he would like to read to me or if I should read to him (we didn't have time for both). He told me he was going to read to me, since "he needed to practice". His words not mine. He brought one of his Franklin books to read, I told him I thought it was too hard. He assured me he could read it... and sure enough he could. Sounding out the words he didn't know as he went.

What Defines "Gifted Child"

To ask the question - what is a gifted child, is to open a flood gate of responses. Some responses are fact and some are opinion. Some people feel that all children are gifted. Yes, children are a gift; but not all children are gifted. Some use the term talented interchanged with gifted.

A lot of resources often refer to gifted children as those having an IQ over 130 (110 in other references). Some facilities will define it as a child preforming at least 2 grade levels above his peers. Still others see giftedness as the ability to preform on an adult level while still a child.

Giftedness can manifest it's self in a variety of ways - intellect, artistic or physical ability, emotional and/or cognitive development.

And then there are different levels of giftedness. 5 levels to be exact (but that's another post).

Gifted children are infamous for their asynchronous development. Albert Einstein being one of the most famous. He didn't speak until he was 4 and couldn't read until he was 7.

One of the best resources on the web for gifted children is "Hoagies Gifted". If you check out the link below you can see what they have compiled from various resources about what defines a gifted child.

http://www.hoagiesgifted.org/gifted_101.htm

Wisdom by Pearl Buck

"The truly creative mind in any field is no more than this: A human creature born abnormally, inhumanly sensitive.

To him...

a touch is a blow,

a sound is a noise,

a misfortune is a tragedy,

a joy is an ecstasy,

a friend is a lover,

a lover is a god,

and failure is death.

Add to this cruelly delicate organism the overpowering necessity to create, create, create - - - so that without the creating of music or poetry or books or buildings or something of meaning, his very breath is cut off from him. He must create, must pour out creation. By some strange, unknown, inward urgency he is not really alive unless he is creating."

-Pearl Buck-